Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Bedside Notebook (with Guest Post)

I loved snuggly bedtime with my little daughters. With nine years between them, I had the luxury of being able to devote lots of time at the end of the day to each girl when she was tiny. We would always read a story or two, "talk about the day", say prayers, and sing a song while laying on our backs with pillows behind our heads. My girls' favorite bedtime ritual, though, was always the "Favorites" game.

I would lead by saying, "Okay, what's your favoriiiittttte..." and then fill in the blank with things like: Disney movie, cookie flavor, friend on the playground, thing about Daddy, pair of shoes, baby animal... The list was endless, and those precious moments when my little brown-eyed girl would furrow her brow in concentration and twirl her hair around her finger, trying to come up with her perfect answer, will forever be memories that I treasure.

As my younger daughter has charged full-force into teenagehood, I was missing those counted-on nights on her bed when we'd sing and talk and read, side-by-side. I started praying about what I could do to help facilitate regular, deeper conversations.

Enter Julie. (You might remember this lovely friend of mine from a post last year about healthful eating.) Julie is the kind of person who is just plain INSPIRING. We connect on a spiritual level nearly every time we talk, and her brilliant / compassionate nature never fails to leave me wanting to reach higher in every area of my life.

I was telling Julie about my desire with my daughter, and she immediately said, "Let me tell you about the notebook idea. It's working beautifully with my girls." As she started describing this idea, I KNEW I needed to start this with my daughter. Here, I'll let Julie tell you about it in her own words:

"The idea hit me on a Sunday afternoon as I held the remnants of a note, colored in five neon shades, folded into an octagon with the words "I like Carson. Which boy do you like? ____________ (write answer here)" I was instantly transported decades back to days where passed notes under the noses of teachers and posted in lockers were the chosen form of communication. I looked at my four daughtrs. Teetering on the brink of young womanhood, I know some of what the next few years will hold. New discoveries. Self-discovery. Happiness. Despair. Drama. Questions. In that moment, holding the note, I wanted to be a part of it all. I wanted to journey with my girls through their own uncharted waters. I wanted to be the recipient of notes that articulate in writing what i too scary ever to say face to face. I wanted to be the one on the end of the conversations too embarrassing to have with anyone else.

"As these thoughts crossed my mind, so did the solution. A notebook. I purchased four notebooks, put one on the bed of each of my daughters. I took them aside individually and explained that this notebook was to be a tool for each of them to communicate with me. It would be a place where they could write any question, concern or feeling to me without worry about embarrassment or repercussions. I told them the things in the book would stay there. I would answer in writing, but would not bring it up, unless they initiated the conversation. I would check their books every few days to see if there were entries.

"What a treasure these notebooks have become. They have become a ground for compliments, questions, apologies, and explanations. They have covered topics as diverse as religion, the "facts of life", repentance, dinner and stuffed animals. Most of all, they have been a way for me to insure that I get needed downtime to ponder, pray and respond to the needs of my daughters without any knee jerk reaction. The expressions of love and admiration for one another have flowed freely. I hope some day, my daughters will keep these notebooks, and as they thumb through the pages will find answers to questions, tender memories, and mostly, a clear understanding of how much they were loved by their mother."

Isn't this a fabulous idea?? (and so beautifully described by my friend) The flowered notebook that you see above on my daughter's bedside table is the little volume of written conversation that she and I are developing. It is nothing short of a revelation for us, and my heart leaps each time I flip through the pages to find a new note, written to me, with her own insights, questions, and kind words.

Friday, October 26, 2012

How To Be a Soccer Mom

Last night marked the final game for our daughter's high school JV soccer season. Their team was undefeated, despite being made up of girls of different ages who play for different club teams. Huge Kudos to each of the skilled players!!! A Major Nod to their able coach!!! And let's not forget THE PARENTS who are, at this age, the stability and the glue (and the funds, and the transportation...) that allow these young ladies to be successful! Great job to all!!!

Starting immediately, we go our separate ways as the U-15 club season gets underway. I will miss the mothers who now will be cheering on the opposite side of the 50-yard-line from me! All are devoted to their girls, all brought talents to the parents' bleachers ... which got me thinking, what makes a good "soccer mom"?? Last night, I looked around me as the time clock was winding down, and had these thoughts:

Mia's Mom comes with apples and sandwiches and Toblerone and blankets to share in the stands, as well as lots of hugs and compliments for girls and parents alike. Her daughter played on the Varsity team, yet she still attended nearly every JV game to support her daughter's club friends.

Kate's Mom really loves each of the players, and is the first one to volunteer to drive girls anywhere. Her enthusiastic "Good job ______!" flows freely throughout games, and she also hosts team dinners extraordinaire, complete with games and really, really awesome prizes.

Mariah's Mom is always smiling. She has three daughters who each play a variety of sports, and I will occasionally "pick her brain" for advice on "soccer mom-ing" or "basketball mom-ing" or "volleyball mom-ing". She puts her daughters' desires first and is able to work with coaches to ensure that her girls get the life experiences that they want. I really admire this gal and how she seems to effortlessly coordinate a busy family's schedule.

Kaitlyn's Mom uses her bounteous creative talents for the benefit of the team. We parents and players cherish our scarves and hats knit in team colors, and our girls' bedrooms display gorgeous soccer bracelets, teddy bears with knit hats/scarves, and other cool stuff that this mom lovingly creates for the cause.

Lauren's Mom is also the principal of our high school, and brings with her a gift of diplomatic and soothing problem-solving skills. When her daughter was at a crossroads in soccer last year, this mom / daughter had a life-changing conversation that allowed the player to catapult herself to the next skill-level and become one of the secret weapons of her team. This mom is always positive her comments relating to soccer, and is able to easily find the good in even sticky situations.

Kendall's Mom works full-time, has two daughters who play both school and club ball, and somehow manages to make it to nearly every game. Her laugh can be heard down the bleachers and she is just plain fun to be around.

Corina's Mom ... I have noticed that sometimes Corina will leave her group of soccer friends to sit by her mother during the Varsity games. They talk and laugh, sharing snacks and big blankets. This is really something sweet to see, as mother and 14 year-old daughter truly enjoy one another's company.

Casey's Mom willingly jumped in to keep us updated with regular team emails and weekly schedules. She included directions to away games, reminders that most of us would have forgotten, and headed up team dinners and the gift for our team's senior member. I looked forward to her enthusiastic ringing of the cow bell after each of our team's goals!

And me,Camille's Mom?? I asked my daughter last night what makes a good Soccer Mom. She told me to include "trips to Dairy Queen after hot summer practices", "coming to games", "washing (her) uniform", and "be(ing) a 'fly on the wall' while driving the carpool'!" Well, check, check, check, and (hopefully) check on those things. (Truth is, just LISTENING to the girls gab in the car on the way to practice is a GREAT way to find out what's going on in their lives!)

I love being a Soccer Mom! I guess the secret to being a "good one" has less to do with ringing bells and knitting scarves and treating for ice cream than it does with simply being there, being willing to give of your talents -- whatever they are -- to the soccer family, and sharing in the fun (and even defining) moments in a daughter's life. Go Team!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


After my shower this morning, I came downstairs to begin my day. I had done some soul-searching last night after a wonderful talk with my husband, and I felt like I had once again pushed "course correction" on my life's dashboard.

Already written on my legal yellow pad were some notes for the day: lots of To Dos, menus for meals, and ideas / things to think about. Despite all my good intentions, though, I felt myself being pulled magnet-like toward my laptop ("just" to check email and facebook), my TV news channel of choice (what happened in politics overnight??), my cell phone (any texts yet?), and even my Bose radio (local talk radio...).

I had to consciously about-face myself away from these things so I could try to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost guide my day's beginning efforts. What was needful this morning? How could I put "first things first" and not be bombarded by the world before the clock even struck 7:00am?

After a quick but heartfelt prayer while I stood in my family room, and a remembering of what I was to be about this day, I squashed that addictive pull to all things plugged-in, and returned my list. Oh yeah, here's where I wanted to start:

* I ran back upstairs and hopped on the scale for the first time in a long time. I confronted the dial square-on, no excuses. Another starting point in my continual effort to gain control over this physical body of mine, and then recorded on my yellow pad.

* Next, to the kitchen sink to wash, tear, and salad-spin some wonderful greens for the next few days: a perfect head of Boston lettuce, beautiful red-leaf lettuce, a handful of fresh, chopped parsley and green onions. Spun, into a big Ziploc bag, into the fridge, and ready for future quick salads.

* Beautiful instrumental CD on to welcome the family downstairs for breakfast. Today, slow-simmering Snoqualmie Falls oatmeal with vanilla soymilk, chopped pecans and bananas, and a sprinkle of brown sugar.

* A beginning load of whites into the washing machine.

Thirty minutes of perfect and productive little tasks got my morning off on the right foot ... today! (Yesterday was a completely different story, but happy to say, I'm now moving forward again!!)


I read an article recently about most churches' falling attendance, and how some are restructuring their Sunday meetings. They are trying to reappeal to families who feel they don't have time to devote an hour to church on Sundays, or feel like it has lost its relevance, or that it's just plain boring. In order to win back members, some churches are offering shorter, thirty-minute services, or a meeting comprised largely of live rock band music, or of interactive activities for children built-in to the service. According to this article, these things are slowly working and pews are beginning to fill up again.

This really got me thinking: ANY amount of church is a wonderful thing, but are we and our children so busy and plugged-in and entertainment-driven that we are no longer willing to, or capable of, devote(ing) Sunday to the Lord? How have we gone from living the commandment of "keeping the Sabbath day holy" as many of our grandparents did, to an hour of regular Sunday worship, to a quick in-and-out service so that we can get back to our weekend? What are we teaching our children about the value and beauty in worshipping the Lord, of learning to be still for real periods of time so that the Spirit can speak to us, and of sacrificing our immediate wants for something greater? Has our need to be entertained first hurt our abilities to be introspective and quiet and open to being led by a Higher Power?

This is something that all modern families struggle with, I think. I've had many conversations with friends over the years about how to push back the world and remember family togetherness and personal spirituality: family prayer, reading out-loud, playing board games, working on projects, and just plain old talking and laughing together are ideas we have discussed. When my little family makes the effort to do these things, there is a joy that permeates the walls of our home that is nearly tangible, we remember why we love each other so much, and are more cognizant of the blessings of God in our lives. When we don't, stress overtakes, tempers can flare, and we can feel like we're on parallel paths with our loved ones...heading the same general direction, but seperately and uninspired.

Our fourteen year-old daughter is a terrific young lady with many talents and strengths, and she is also, in some ways, a very typical teenager. She loves staying up on friends' lives via Instagram, texting, and Facebook, she's familiar with many of the latest youtube videos, she DVRs her favorite TV shows for future watching, and she loves updating her music playlist on her phone. Her nimble fingers can find her favorite radio station on the car stereo before I have even closed my door. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

It takes a constant and sometimes firm hand, with lots of behind-the-scenes prayers of her father and I, to teach her to embrace the good things in our technology-based world without forgetting the simple things that bring true happiness. Our daughter and her peers get figuratively thrown to the wolves in the public high school every day, and it is vital that they each know who they are, what they stand for, and from where they draw their inner strength, so they can navigate those school halls with confidence and success. This is undoubtedly one of my husband's and my greatest focuses right now.

Things that help keep our family headed in the right direction:

**daily family scripture study
**daily family AND one-on-one conversations
**daily family meals (breakfast AND dinner when possible)
**daily family prayer, morning and evening
**daily homework sessions
**daily household or yard jobs
**regular family FUN!

Obviously, the operative words in the little list above are the words "daily" and "family". The trick is to not let life get too busy that we run out of time to do the important things. And our rule is that cell phones are off-limits for all of us during these sacred family times. We are EACH slowly learning to become more disciplined and selective in our plugging-in to the world, to be more in-tune spiritually, and to better value and safeguard our time together. Some days are better than others, but WE ARE TRYING.

What does your family do to stay focused on things of greatest importance? How do you set guidelines for technology in your home?? If you could offer one or two of your best tips, what would they be???

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Simple Applesauce

I was just thumbing through the November 2012 "Runner's World" magazine, and came across a list of the Top 10 fall superfoods. Number one? Apples!

"They're high in cholesterol-lowering soluble fiber. A Japanese study found apples also contain an antioxidant that may protect against muscle injuries -- particularly those caused by downhill running."

Well, I'm not doing a lot of downhill running these days, but I've always felt that the old adage "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" may have some truth to it. I just feel like I'm doing something good for my body when I'm munching on an apple.

Years ago I read that eating a small apple a half-hour before dinner is an easy and healthy diet tip. The fiber-rich fruit fills you up and makes it easier to be satisfied with smaller portions of your regular meal. I think I'm going to give this a try again!

My daughter and I made a big batch of homemade applesauce the other night, and ate it warm from the stove. It was so delicious, easy, and nourishing that I had to share the recipe. This is from our old warped and splattered cookbook called "Kids Cooking" from the Williams-Sonoma Kitchen Library. Give it a try! It's impossible to goof up and your family will love you for it.
Simple Applesauce

4 large apples (any variety - we like to use a couple different kinds)
1 T. fresh lemon juice
1/2 c. water
1/3 c. sugar
1/2 t. cinnamon
a sprinkle of ground cloves

Peel and core apples and chop into large chunks. Put in medium saucepan with remainder of ingredients. Bring to a low boil, then cover with lid and reduce to simmer for 15 minutes. Mash with potato masher to desired consistency. (We like ours a little chunky.) Serve warm, or chill in the refrigerator.